He's retarded.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing to be sorry about. He's a tough kid.
He could beat you up if he wanted.
I'm sorry. I mean-- Yeah.
Brandon, are you still going to rape me?
What time is it?
I don't know, but I guess I don't have to be home yet.
- Nah, there's not enough time. - Thanks, Brandon.
Yeah, but just remember: This didn't happen.
I mean no one, fuckin' no one--
I won't tell anybody, not a soul.
'Cause if you do, I really will rape you next time.
I have to tell you, I'm very upset with you three.
But, Mommy, I didn't do anything wrong.
I know. Just Mark and Dawn.
But, Mom, I already spoke to Steve.
- And did you apologize? - Yes.
I just had to promise to give him $200 for playing at your party.
- Two hundred dollars? - For chrissake, Harv, it's our 20th!
He's coming by later to go over some stuff with me.
There's a big Computer Science test tomorrow.
What about you, Dawn? Are you going to tear down that mess in the backyard?
Dawn, I am talking to you.
Dawn, listen to your mom and forget about it.
The clubhouse stands, and that's final.
Fine. Have it your way.
Be smart. Make things easy on yourself.
- Now, this I like. - Where did you get it?
- The supermarket. - I picked it out.
Mom, since Dawn isn't eating hers, can me and Mark split it?
Yeah, can we?
Please?
Go ahead.
I'm gonna need your help this weekend.
- What do we have to do? - Tear down that mess in the backyard.
- What do you think? - I think--
They're all so beautiful.
They're from this summer.
Who took them?
uh, Valerie Mondello. She's photo editor of the yearbook.
Was she your girlfriend?
For a few days.
It was worth it, though, don't you think?
Yes.
I'm thinking of using this one for my first album cover.
You're going to be on a record?
It'll happen. It's gotta happen.
It's just a question of time.
You think before graduation?
Fuck graduation.
- What about college? - Fuck college.
I'm just doing this Computer Science shit with Mark for my parents.
As soon as I make enough money, I'm moving into the city.
That's where it's all happening.
I found the disk. Out.
What do you mean, "no"? I said out.
Steve and I are talking.
Come on, I said out. Come on !
- Mom! - Leave her alone.
This is my room.
- So what? You're being a total fascist. - What is it?
Did you solve any of the problems?
Good morning, students. All Hummingbird chorus members...
going on the concert tour to Disney World this year...
must hand in signed permission slips by this Friday, the latest.
On a more worrisome note, drugs were found...
extinguished yesterday in the boys' lavatory.
Now, I want to remind you all that any student caught using or selling drugs...
will be immediately expelled from school and dealt with by the police.
There will be no exceptions.
Drugs are illegal. Just say no.
Thank you for your attention.
- Mrs. Iannone? - Yes, Cookie?
- I have an announcement. - Go ahead.
For everyone coming to my birthday party, remember to bring a bathing suit.
That's all.
- Hey, Cookie. - What do you want?
How come I wasn't invited? Jed and Lance were.
Oh, well, I really would have, Brandon...
but we needed an even number of girls and boys...
and if you were invited...
there would be too many boys.
Well, I got something for you.
- What is it? - Open it up.
I didn't eat my dessert at lunch today.
I saved it for you.
Now can I come to your birthday party this weekend?
But Brandon, this didn't even cost anything.
- What are you looking at? - N-Nothing.
Sorry about your locker.
It's okay. I mean, it's not really mine anyway. It's the school's.
Anyway, I hate those stupid kinds of parties.
They always treat you like little kids.
- She probably had a fucking magician. - Yeah.
I hate parties too.
My parents are tearing this down tomorrow.
Fuck. What for?
- Their anniversary. - Assholes.
- Where'd you get that cassette player? - Ralphy gave it to me.
- Why do you hang out with that faggot? - Ralphy?
- Yeah. - Just because he's a faggot...
doesn't mean he's an asshole.
Yeah, maybe.
I can't be your girlfriend.
Huh?
I want to, but I'm in love with someone else.
- Who? - You wouldn't know him.
- What's his name? - It's no one you know.
- What's his name? - He's older.
- What's his fucking name? - Steve Rodgers. He's in high school.
Brandon, wait!
Where are you going? We still have some Yodels left!
Asshole.
Don't feel bad, Dawn. Brandon McCarthy's just a retard.
Faggot!
It was 20 years ago today
When Harv and Marj were married
There were three little twinkles in their eyes
When over the threshold Marj was carried
Harv and Marj you're the greatest
You're the greatest couple the world has ever seen
We love you both We wish you the best
Happy anniversary great joy and happiness
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
You're the king of the breadwinners, Harv
And Marj you're the queen of mothers
Missy, Mark and Dawn
- Are your lucky - Where's Dawn?
- Son and daughters - I don't know. Where is--
Rita, did you see Dawn?
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary to you
- How are you? - I'm fine.
Yeah? Are you gonna lose your lunch?
- Really? You think so? - Oh, honey, would you--
- Where's Steve? - Hey, look who's here!
- Where have you been? - Leave me alone. I'm looking for Steve.
- Where's Steve? - I don't know. Leave me alone.
I'm trying to figure something out.
- Where's Steve? - In the garage.
Steve! Open up! Open up!
- Hey, Dawn, what's up? - I have to talk to you.
- What about? - I was wondering if--
Well, I've been thinking seriously of building...
another clubhouse, and I wanted to know--
Would you be interested in being my first honorary member?
What-What are you talking about?
The Special People Club.
"Special People"?
What's the matter?
Do you know what "special people" means?
What?
"Special people" equals retarded.
Your club is for retards.
- Hey, Mommy, look! - I see, honey.
Oh, look at Missy! Oh, God, you are so cute!
Oh, look at her dancing with Mr. Kasdan!
And look at me and Steve! Steve really likes me.
- Hey, I look pretty good there! - You sound good too.
Oh, Harv, we have to get copies of this tape.
Yeah. unfortunately, Steve just quit the band.
What? I just gave him $200.
Didn't you just tell me he got an "A" on his Computer Science final?
It's not that. He dropped out of school and left town.
He wants to try making it in New York as the next Jim Morrison.
- Stupid idiot kid. He'll never make it. - That's what I told him.
-He'll never get into a good school now. -No, he won't make it.
- Never make it. - Never.
Mommy, let's watch it again!
You're so lucky.
Would you ask Brandon McCarthy to step outside, please?
- Is something wrong? - The police want to question him.
Brandon, come up here, please.
Leave your test.
Come along, Brandon.
Thank you, Martha. Sorry for the interruption.
I'm so glad I caught you. Listen now, Dad just called.
His car broke down, and I have to pick him up at the car dealer.
I've left a note in the kitchen for Missy to give to Mrs. Golden...
but in case she doesn't see it when she gets in...
tell her to get a ride home from ballet with her.
I won't be able to pick her up like I told her I would.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- Now you won't forget? - No!
And that means hungry for love.
They haven't gotten enough love.
They haven't gotten enough affection.
They haven't gotten enough attention from their partner...
or from the people in their life.
I like to think of your relationship...
as a living, breathing thing.
I have found that in my program there are five things--
I'll get it!
Wiener residence. Whom, may I ask, is calling, please?
It's Ralphy.
- Tell him I'm punished. - But you're not punished.
Well, I don't feel like talking to him.
But he's your friend. So here.
- Dawn. - Hang it up!
I don't want to speak to that faggot!
- But, Dawn-- - Hang it up!
- But he's your friend. - He is not! He's a spy and an asshole!
- But, Dawn, Ralphy likes you. - Yeah?
Well, that's too bad, 'cause you can tell him I hope he rots in hell!
- Maybe you should say you're sorry. - Fuck you!
You know you're not supposed to drink in the TV room.
Oh, hey, Missy!
What?
Nothing.
- Haven't seen her since 6:15. - Long brown hair, blue eyes...
Iast seen wearing a pink leotard...
pink ballet slippers and a pink tutu.
She has an older sister, eleven and a half.
She gave her the note from her mother.
She claims to have given her the note.
- Her sister says she gave her the note. - Yeah, she claims to have.
- This was taken last summer. - You're not going to school today?
- Mom's afraid I'll be kidnapped also. - Yeah, right.
What?
Never mind.
What do you think they're looking around for?
- Clues. - But she's not here.
Duh !
Do you think you can use that one?
Excuse me, Sergeant.
Do you think they'll find her?
- Are you the big sister? - Yeah.
- And you're the big brother? - Yeah.
Take whatever you need. I just want my Missy.
Excuse me.
You know Dad's real sick. He's probably gonna have to go to the hospital.
- Why? What's wrong with him? - The doctor's not sure...
but Mom thinks it might be a nervous breakdown.
It's probably just his gallbladder.
- I'll help, Mom. - Thank you, Dawn. Here.
Take that up to your father while I talk to the sergeant.
Sure, Mom.
I brought you some tea.
How are you feeling?
Better?
Well, don't worry, they'll find Missy. I'm sure of it.
And if they don't, well, remember:
You've still got me and Mark.
Hello. Want a bite?
Tommy? Tommy!
Go on, get back in the kitchen.
- Who are you? - Dawn Wiener.
- I'm a friend of Brandon McCarthy. - What do you want?
Well, I was wondering if I could see Brandon.
- How come you're not in school? - My sister was kidnapped.
My mom let me stay home today.
- What do you want with Brandon? - I wanted to talk to him.
What'd he do, knock you up or something?
Okay, then, go ahead. You can go say good-bye to him.
Go on, up the stairs at the back.
But you got just one hour, then we're leaving.
Thank you, Mr. McCarthy.
Hi, Brandon.
What are you doing here?
I tried calling you, but my mom wouldn't let me because my sister was kidnapped.
Yeah, I heard. So what do you want?
I want to be your girlfriend.
Too late. I'm leaving.
- Where are you going? - None of your business.
- Can I come along? - No.
- Are you gonna go back to school? - No way, man.
I'm not goin' to no reformatory either.
My dad thinks I'm goin', but he can go to hell. I'm gettin' out of here.
- You mean you're running away? - Yep, to New York.
- Does anybody know? - No.
Get off of me.
I'm the one that makes the first move.
- Now come on. - R-R-Right now?
Now or never.
- But I can't now. - Why not? What? Are you scared?
- No, but l-- - What?
Can't you wait just a little longer? I mean, I'm sure Mr. Edwards...
will let you back in if you stop dealing drugs.
Who said I deal drugs?
But, Brandon, everyone says--
And you believe them all.
You mean, you didn't?
Asshole. Jed's the one that deals.
But, hey, don't feel bad.
You're like everyone else.
You think I'm some lying asshole.
And you know something, Dawn? I don't give a fuck.
I believe you.
Gee, thanks. I feel so much better.
- But I really do! - The fuck you do!
Brandon, I do!
- Lying piece of shit. - Brandon, please wait.
- I'm so sorry. - Well, it's too late.
I'm gettin' outta here. Who knows? Maybe I will deal drugs now.
You packed? We're leaving in ten minutes!
Well, you comin'?
I can't.
Brandon, wait! Please don't go!
So, how's Dad?
They don't know yet.
They're still doing more testing.
Can I visit him?
What are you doing tomorrow after school?
Tomorrow's no good. I've got a big Forensic Society debate.
But I'm sure I can get out of it.
No, Mark.
Go. I want you to. It's important.
Dawn can come with me to the hospital...
and I'll get your Aunt Phyllis to stay by the phone.
Hello? Yes.
Oh.
In Times Square?
Are you sure?
Yes.
Thank you.
They found her tutu.
Excuse me. Have you seen my sister?
Pardon me. Have you seen my sister? Her name is Missy Wiener.
Have you seen my sister? Her name's Missy Wiener.
Help! Dawn, help me!
Help me! Help me, Dawn!
Help! Help!
Wait! Wait!
Stop! Stop!
Let go of my sister!
You're the best daughter a mother could have!
- I love you so much. - I love you, Dawn.
Me too. I love you.
- Oh, Dawn, I love you. - Dawn, I love you!
- And you know I've always loved you. - Oh, Dawn, we love you!
- Yeah, I'll accept. - Hi, Mark?
- It's Dawn. - Ooh, are you in trouble.
- Where are you? - New York.
- What are you doing there? - I-l ran away.
- Are you serious? - Yeah. I thought I might find Missy.
- Way to go. - Is Mom real upset?
Not really. They found Missy this morning.
- Is she dead? - No, she's fine.
It turns out Mr. Kasdan kidnapped her.
- Really? - Yeah.
Mrs. Kasdan is gonna file for divorce now.
Turns out he'd built this little underground room...
beneath the shuffleboard court and kept her there.
- Did he rape her? - Nah.
I think he videotaped her doing some pirouettes, but that's it.
Is she in the hospital?
No, she's here. She's the same.
Actually, I think she may have liked being there...
'cause she had her own TV and total control over the pusher.
She also got to have as much candy and McDonald's as she wanted.
Can you get Mom?
Yeah, hold on.
Mom, it's Dawn.
- Will you move? - Where the fuck is Sam?
Can you call back a little later?
- She's being interviewed. - Okay.
And now, students, I'd like you to give your attention...
to Dawn Wiener.
"I'm standing here today to express my and my family's thanks...
for the support in helping us get through this hor-- terrible ordeal.
If it hadn't been for your help in providing the police...
with the information leading to the conviction of Joseph Kasdan...
my sister might not be here today.
Your emotional and moral support...
has been invaluable.
Missy has always been like a sister to me...
- Wienerdog! - and a friend.
- And now that she is safe and sound-- - Wienerdog!
- Wienerdog!
And now that she's safe and sound--
Quiet!
Go on, Dawn.
I can rest easy in the knowledge that, that Missy is fine.
Thank you very much."
...were unavailable for comment.
Friends and neighbors, however, shocked at his arrest...
described Joseph Kasdan as a regular family man...
who would often dress up as Santa at Christmastime.
Now we bring you an exclusive interview from our own--
While you're at it, can you get me another bag of popcorn?
- And a glass of diet Coke. - And Hawaiian Punch.
- Okay. - Did he touch you at all in any way?
I don't know.
Anyway, I bet you're happy to be home with Mommy.
Yes.
Tell me, Mrs. Wiener, how did you feel when you discovered--
Mark, is eighth grade better than seventh?
Not really.
What about ninth?
All of junior high school sucks.
High school's better. It's closer to college. They'll call you names...
but not as much to your face.
How did you feel being kidnapped and being held hostage?
- Were you scared? - No.
- I don't want to go to Disney World. - Don't be stupid.
If nothing else, it'll look good on your college resume.
Look in the sky at the tiny birds that fly
With wings that move faster than the eye can see
Hummingbirds
Hooray, Hurrah, Sis-boom-bah
Now put on a smile, kids Wipe off that frown
We're hummable Hummingbirds
Happy and sunny birds humming all day long
Come and join us in our song
Hum
Hummable Hummingbirds humming along, we are
Hum hummable Hummingbirds
We go up, up, up into the sky
We're the Hummingbirds of Benjamin Franklin Junior High